Friday, December 31, 2010

I'm Letting Go

2010 is in it's final hours. It is hard to believe that another year has come, left it's mark, and then left. Time flies.

I have my goals for 2011 written down. I am finishing up my editorial calendar for the year as well. I am getting my ducks in a row so I can take 2011 by storm.

And I am letting go

For the better part of 2010, I harbored a lot of anger, hurt, and sadness in my heart. It affected every aspect of my life. From personal relationships to professional endevours, the grief that I felt swallowed me whole. It consumed me. I let it define me.

So, for 2011, I am letting go. I cannot change what happened. If I could, I would. The only thing I can do is accept that it happened and move forward. I want to forgive those who hurt me and I want to forget the circumstances surrounding it. I want to move forward with my life and be the best that I can be for my children. For me.

I can't be angry anymore. I can't be hurt. I don't want to keep missing out on life because I am so angry at people that hurt me. I just can't live that way anymore.

So, as 2010 comes to a close, I take the lessons I learned and the memories I made. The rest? It's in the past. And starting now, that is where I will leave it.

And just because I am letting go, doesn't mean that I am giving up. It just means that I am accepting the things that happened. I can't change that. But, I am the only one who is in control of my future. And if I don't let go, I will never get to where I want to be.

Happy New Year~

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Lookin Back at 2010

I am a firm believer that looking back is not normally something that you should do. Why would you want to look at what was when you could be looking at what is? But, 2010 has taught me some hard lessons and what better way to send out a year that treated my crappy then to look back at what I learned in 2010.

So, without further ado: Things 2010 Taught Me

*Things happen for me. Whether I like it or not, everything happened for a specific reason. Some of those reasons are still unknown.

*Sometimes, letting go is the only way to move forward

*I really miss the friendships I lost

*I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

*I am inspirational

*Life isn't about getting a good hand dealt to you. It is about making the most of the cards you have been given.

*I need to laugh more, cry less

*Truth and love will win everytime

*I am determined

*I am loved

*I am worthy

*I have the ability to make something of myself. I have the tools. It is now up to me if I am going to use them.

Goodbye 2010, while we haven't always seen eye to eye, you have proven to be tremendous teacher. And while I am not to sad to see you go, I take with me the memories, the lessons, the laughter,and the tears. I will make 2011 count.

2011 is going to be my year.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Night Before Christmas (An ode to stressed moms everywhere)

T'was the night before Christmas
And all through the house
A stressed mother ran
Whilst washing a blouse.

The stockings still hung empty
The gifts all unwrapped
The only thing mom wanted
Was a long winter's nap

When out in the front room
There arose such a clatter
Mom ran from her room
To see what was the matter

And what to her tired eyes did appear
But one boy and one girl
And one peanut butter smear

What are you doing out of bed
The tired mom said
The little boy rubbed his eyes
Can't sleep he said

We are waiting for Santa
You said he was near
It is Christmas time yet
Is that sleighbells I hear.

Now, Aidan, Now Morgan
And sweet Noah too
Head back to bed,
There's lot left to do

Mom watched with tired eyes
As they walked out of the room
She winced as Aidan slammed
The door with a boom

She muttered to herself
As she walked out of sight
These darn gifts
Can wrap themselves tonight.

Merry Christmas!!

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Chocolate Peppermint Bark

I love this time of year. Especially the baking part. I always make cookies, fudge, candies, just about anything. This year, I decided to make White Chocolate Peppermint Bark. It turned out so yummy. The kids ate it up.
Start with one bag of Wiltons White Chocolate Melts and melt according to package directions

Smash up four candy canes

Add the smashed candy canes to the chocolate


Spread in a small cookie pan and let harden about an hour or two. Once it's hard break it up and eat!
(Here's the best part: A small piece of bark only has about 30-40 calories in it Enjoy!)

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

New Years Resolutions. Do you make them?

via Google Images
I am not one to typically wish away the year. But, I think, in a way, I am ready for 2010 to leave.

Many memories where made in 2010. Some good. Some bad. And I don't want to wish away any of the experiences. Good or bad. I don't believe that things happen to me. I believe that they happen for me. Sometimes I wish I knew why they happened, but I have learned that it is not my place to question the why.

2010 saw my family moved. Twice. Two different houses in a 6 month time span. But, after living in this house for a few months, I am certain that I have found our permanent home.

2010 signaled the end of a friendship. That loss devastated me. In fact, it shook me to my core and threw me off balance. It has taken months for me to get to the point where I can honestly say I am okay with it now. She has gone on to do wonderful things and it makes me smile because I know that I had a part, no matter how small, in them.

2010 also shook up our family. But, for now, everyone seems to be content with the way things are. I am not. But, again, I am in a place where I can say that I am okay.

2010 also saw the arrival of my nephew. I adore that kid. I look forward to seeing him over Christmas.

2010 was a year for me to grow as a person. As a mother. As a friend. I learned that I am strong enough to handle whatever life throws at me. I have lost a significant amount of weight and there are many new opportunities on the horizion.

Which leads me to my question. Do you make New Years Resolutions? And if you do, do you keep them?

I have been so bad about making and keeping them in the past. But, this year will be different. I have an amazing network of friends, and a personal trainer who rocks, to keep me accountable on all levels.

So, what are your New Years Resolutions? And will you actually keep them?

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Here in the midwest, it is snowing. Again. And it is bitter cold and will only be getting colder. I have lived in Illinois all of my life, you would think that I would be used to the cold. But, I dislike it. A lot.

Of course, getting ready for the holidays is taking up a lot of my time. This weekend we will be either heading to Chicago with some friends to take in the sights of Michigan Avenue or, if the weather doesn't agree, we will be baking cookies all day. Just enjoying being together. All of us. Damien will be with us this weekend. Then the next time I pick him up, he will be here for 10 days. I am pretty excited to have him here again.

Of course with all the snow, Aidan and Morgan have been asking non-stop when Santa is coming. I have yet to convince them that there is still 2 weeks to go before the big day.

Speaking of Christmas, I have been so busy with work, writing, and other things, I  have yet to finish my shopping. I have a feeling this is going to be a Dec 23rd kinda year.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

I miss my best friend

(This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.Link up here )

Every single one of Mama Kat's prompts called my name this week, but this one spoke the loudest: Have you ever had a fight with a long time best friend and never made up? Do you think about her from time to time and think about contacting her? What would you say? What if it didn’t work out? What if it did?"

When I first met E, I was instantly drawn to her. She is so vibrant, so full of life. She was always the first one to remind me that I had worth and was important. Frustrated with things on the career end of my life, I contacted her. As a fellow (and sucessful) writer, I had hoped she would have some words of guidence. What followed was a friendship that I thought was unbreakable.

We talked daily. For hours. We emailed. We texted. We worked together. We would laugh and cry together. When things went down with my ex regarding custody of my son, she cried right along with me. She also held me up when I didn't think I could take another step. We were there for eachother.

Our friendship dissolved amidst trying times for both of us. I was fighting to keep my son, she was fighting to keep her grandma alive. Our friendship ended because a text was sent at the wrong time.

I have thought, numerous times, about contacting her. There are so many things that I want to say to her. I want to tell her that I miss her. That she was such a huge part of my life and I wish what had happened between us, never happened. But, I don't think I could ever go back to the way things were with us. While I accepted the end of our friendship and apologized for my part in the end of it, she called me nasty and hurtful names. She ripped me apart. It is a wound that still stings today.

I miss E very much. She was such a strong and motivational person. She is who encouraged me to be what and who I am today...and for that I thank her.

As the saying goes "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." When I think of my time with E, I always smile....

As E always said "From rain comes flowers...everytime" I hope she is enjoying her flowers.

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Take the stress out of shopping for tech gifts this holiday season

I am a gamer and lover of all things tech. I spend more time then I should drooling over the ads featuring the newest gaming equipment, iPads, or anything else under the sun. Unfortunately, that makes me hard to shop for. Because I am so in to technology and all the latest gadgets, I tend to be a bit picky if you will, when it comes to my gifts.

Shopping for the Tech lover on your list doesn't have to send you running for the nearest exit. With a few easy steps, you can easily shop for every tech lover on your list.

Compare Ads: Check your local sales ads before going into the store. A lot of tech gifts have different specs. There are 2 different Xbox 360s and multiple bundles. Write down what it is you are looking for.

Check price match policy: Call the stores you want to shop at and find out what their price match policy is. Wal-mart will match prices. Sears matches prices and then gives an additional 10%. Take a few extra minutes to see which stores offer the best prices.

Check the online vs in store price policy: Some items are cheaper online then they are in stores. Will the store match the online price? Wal-mart offers free site to store shipping. Order it at the online price and pick it up in store. Make sure you are clear on the policies before you go shopping. 

Ebay is not always the way to go: It used to be that Ebay was your one stop shop for anything you could want. When it comes to tech gifts, however, they are usually way overpriced. Stay away from Ebay and opt for a retail store.

When in doubt, buy a gift card:  Not sure which iPod to buy? Grab a gift card for the purchase amount and let your recipent chose which gadget they want. It will save you time and a headache. :)

(I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Staples blogging program, making me eligible for a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here)

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Need to make changes

Via Google Images

It isn't a secret around these parts that I have been feeling pretty frustrated with life lately. It has lead to Steve and I having some intense arguments discussions about my life, what changes I want to make, what changes he wants me to make, and what I need to change to find my "happy" again.In all honesty, I do need to make some changes. I know I do. I just don't like being told what to do. (I have a wicked stubborn streak).

The problem is I don't know how to make the changes. Or even where to start. I know that I am not happy. It isn't one particular thing either, it is a whole slew of things that really have me ready to throw up my hands and walk away. When I get to feeling like this it is a signal that I need to take stock of what I am doing with my life and what things I can change to make things better for me. I accept that there are somethings that are the way they are. And I can't change them. But, I can change how I let them affect me.

At this point, I know that I need to make some changes. I am working on those changes. Both inwardly and outwardly. :)

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What Are You Thankful For?

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. My turkey is thawing in the fridge, pies are waiting to be baked, I am looking forward to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Steve has to work 3rd shift that day, so not looking forward to that, but atleast we will get most of the day together as a family  before he has to leave.

I am quick to wish away 2010. Then I realize that it was a good year as well as a trying year.  So, because I would rather focus on the the good...I have decided to post what it is I am Thankful for this Thanksgiving.

1.) My kids. They keep me motivated and grounded. I love them more than anything in the world.
2.) My family. From my in-laws to my family. There have been a few times during the year that we needed them and they were there for us. They love our kids just as much as we do.
3.)Luke. He is my personal trainer. I am thankful for his guidence and support and willingness to work with me even when I am being as stubborn as a mule.
4.)My friends. I have an amazing group of friends. I have made some friends this year that I know will last a life time
5.) I am thankful for the ability to learn and grow. I am thankful that each day is a new start and I am in control of my life.

Have a happy Thanksgiving.

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Goals and Such

It is hard to believe that in just a few short days, it will be Thanksgiving, and then a few short weeks after that Christmas and then the New Year. 2010 feels like it went by at a breakneck speed. 2010 hasn't been the best of years towards me, but it also hasn't been the worst. It was a year that has tested my very inner strength. It is also one that opened my eyes to a weight problem and eating disorder. (You can read about that here) I grew a lot as a person this year (emotionally and spiritually).

Going into 2011, I am already setting my intentions for the year. These are things that will happen. No question of "if." I am taking all other options off the table. One of the things that I have learned is to name your goals as if they already happpened. Don't leave room for the "what ifs" Just say and then own it.

So, I am sharing my goals with you for the 2011 year!

  • Weigh 160 pounds (or less). After spending the last 4 years over 200 pounds, I am leaving the 200's behind forever
  • Run the Chicago Marathon. October 2011 will find me pounding the pavement in the city of Chicago
  • Become certified to teach Turbo Fire and Hip Hop Hustle
  • Become a Certified Personal Trainer (signing up for the classes in Jan.) and start working towards becoming a Nutritionist
  • Publish my novel
  • Publish my non-fiction book
  • Start on my children's book series
These are things that are all non-negotiable for the 2011 year. There are a few other things as well that are on that list. These are things that will happen.

2011 will be MY year!

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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dealing with death

This morning a furry member of our family gained their wings and flew to Doggy Heaven. Bella wasn't even a year old. We had got her in March at 8 weeks old. She was a pure-bred, blue eyed Siberian Huskie and a welcomed addition to our family. Today, she passed away.

She had been sick for a while, not really gaining weight. But, she never suffered. We tried everything thing we could for her, but nothing worked. Nothing was ever found to be wrong with her. She was a huge ball of energy. Just the other day I was playing with her. Yesterday, she was quieter than normal, I guess that should have been my sign that she was going. Today, I walked into the garage and called her name. And she didn't come running like she normally did. She had passed away. I had to explain to the kids what happened to Bella. At 3 and 4, they didn't understand. They watched at daddy dug a hole and we buried Bella in our backyard. They said goodbye to her. Aidan seemed a little sad, but I don't think he quite got it.

Me? I wish I didn't understand it. Because I am heart broken. She was my dog. I picked her out, I named her. She was mine. I know that, to some, she is just a dog. But, she was a member of our family. And it hurts.

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Friday, November 19, 2010

Holiday Gift Guide: Xbox 360 Kinect

google images

Recently I got a chance to try out the new Xbox 360 Kinect with Kinect Adventures. Being the gamer that I am, I had been following Microsofts development of this project back when it was called Project Natal. I was hesitant at first, after all this technology is brand new to the market, and is even leaps and bounds above Playstation 3's Move.

The Kinect system operates soley on your body movements. There is no controller needed. The set up and callibration of the Kinect system is extremely easy. And you will be ready to play in no time.

Using the Kinect system was a little tricky at first. But, once you get the hang of it, it is pretty easy--and fun.

One of the best things about the Kinect is that my 3 and 4 year old can play with Daddy and I now. They always want to play games when they see daddy or their older brother playing, but they didn't quite understand the controller thing. Since the body is the controller, they have no problems playing now.

Kinect Adventures: This game comes with the Xbox 360 system and Kinect Bundle. My kids love this game because it takes your pictures and displays them on the screen. There are 5 or 6 games with a few different levels. They are all 1 or 2 player games.

Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout: I had to try this one. I had been using the one on the Wii for a while, but the controller kept getting in the way. So, I popped this game in. Holy Cow! This is a full body, intense workout. You can use free weights and an excersise ball (for your core)

If you are looking for a great gift for the video game lover on your list this Christmas, definately consider the Xbox 360 Kinect!


Xbox 360 Kinect/Console 4G~$299.99 at Wal-Mart
The Kinect ONLY~$149.99 at Wal-Mart
Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout~$49.99 at Target

(I was not compensated in any form, either monetary or through goods, to provide this review. )
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5 Easy Thanksgiving Crafts For Kids of All Ages

I live in the midwest, which means that the amount of time my kids spend outdoors is slowly becoming less and less. I am an outdoorsy kinda girl, so having to stay indoors kinda bites. Not to mention with a 4,3, and 18 month old, things get kinda hectic--fast.

I am a member of the Kraft Delicious Bytes Blogging program and recently came across 5 easy Thanksgiving crafts for kids.

· Encourage your kids to draw a picture of something they’re thankful for. Laminate the pictures and display them on your front door to welcome guests
  · Use old magazines to make a festive collage featuring classic Thanksgiving foods.

· Create custom decorated nameplates to add a personalized touch to Thanksgiving dinner.

· Make an original seasonal centerpiece using pinecones, corn and colorful leaves.

· Transform a plastic spoon into a pilgrim puppet with some felt “clothes,” wiggle eyes and a hat made of construction paper

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

It never ends....

Via Google Images

*Sigh* I am writing this post instead of cleaning the house. I am overwhelmed with it all. Now, my house is not a pigsty by any means, but it tends to get

We recently moved. We actually moved into a somewhat smaller house. I got rid of a lot of things before we moved here. But, we still have a lot.

It seems that, no matter how fast I wash the dishes, clean the floors, or fold the laundry, it piles right back up. When Steve comes home, he can't tell if anything has been done...even after I spend 1/2 the morning cleaning the house.

The kids are mini category 5 hurricanes that come ripping through here multiple times a day. Even Noah gets in on the mess-making action.

I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. Especially with the holidays coming up. The kids will undoubtly, make out like bandits. Like they do every year. We have a realitvely large family and celebrate the 24th and 25th. So it is important to me to get the house under control now. The problem is, I have no idea where to start.

It just seems like, that as fast as I clean it, is as fast as it get messed up again. It is a never ending cycle.

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Friday, November 12, 2010

Random Randomness

 I realize that it has been ten days since I updated my blog. It seriously wasn't intentional. I sit down, fully intent on writing a post and then something happens. With four kids, there is never a dull moment.

Life has been...interesting to say the least. I have a ton on my plate currently and am always trying to figure out how to fit more on it. I think I am going to have to spend this weekend reorganinzing somethings and figuring out what, if anything, I can move to the back burner. Which probably won't happen, because I like being busy...but at the moment, I am slightly overwhelmed.

I have been blogging pretty regulary over on my other blog, Diary Of A Fat Mom. It has proven to be an essential tool in my quest to become healthier and overcome a food addiction. This journey has definately proven to be one of the most mentally challenging things I have ever done. But, I have aligned myself with an awesome personal trainer who has helped me, and continues to help me, along the way.

I am also partcipating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The goal is to write 50,000 words  by the end of the month. I am 90% of the way through it. Not to shabby. I am writing a mainstream fiction novel. So far, I think it is going well.

Aidan and Morgan are...potty trained!!! YaY! They still have the occasional accident during the day,but are doing amazingly well with the whole process.

Noah is a goof ball. He has to be the center of attention. Aidan and Morgan are great siblings to him and now enjoy spending hours playing with him.

Damien is still living with his dad. He is doing well in school. We still aren't sure what the future will hold, but i make the most out of the time I have with him.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's Begining To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Yes, I just said the "C" word and yes, I know it is only November 2nd. But it is never to early to think about Christmas cards. Especially if you are a procrastinator like me. I have the same box of cards sitting in my hall closet that I purchased two years ago.

This year, I am going to do something different. Shutterfly has amazing products. I have used them in the past for photo books and online photo sharing. This year I am going to use their holiday photo cards to send out cards to my friends and family. Especially since we have family that lives in another state. Holiday photo cards make it easy for me, the procrastinator, to send photos to my mother in law, so she doesn't have to resort to swiping pictures off of my Facebook page ;)

One of the things I really like about Shutterfly is the variety. Not only am I a procrastinator, I am also lazy super busy and don't want to spend time addressing each envelope. So, I am going to use some of Shutterfly's super adorable Christmas address lables on my cards this year.

If you have friends and family who celebrate Hanukkah, Shutterfly has some great Hanukkah cards as well.

So, don't wait until the last minute, like me, to get your cards done. Take advantage of Shutterfly for great cards

(disclaimer: I am being given 50 free photo cards from Shutterfly as compensation for writing this post. This compensation in no way sways my opinion of Shutterfly. All opinons stated herein are 100% mine)post signature

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween 2010

                                          Morgan and Aidan: The Witch And Optimus Prime

                                           Noah: Cutest Superman. Ever!

                                          Attempting to take a family picture. Not working to well.

                                          I don't know what Damien was. All I know is his mask scared the crap 
                                          out of Noah.

                                           The three of them. Yes, Damien was trying to be scary. 

                                           All my ghouls and goblins!

                                            We all had a great Halloween Weekend!

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Noah goes to the ER.

There is never a dull moment in this house. I swear. Yesterday the kids were playing in their room. Noah starts crying, Aidan yells "Noah bleeding." Now, i think it is probably nothing more then a cut lip. No biggie. Wrong.

My husband brings Noah out of the bedroom, his face covered in blood. Noah is screaming hysterically. At this point, we don't know where he is bleeding from, all we know is it is alot.

We get a rag, clean him up and detertmine it is cut on his nose. Turns out, Aidan hit him with a toy truck and it caught Noah in the nose (gave him a bump on the eye too).

The cut is pretty deep, but not bleeding horribly. But, we still haul him into the ER.

2 hrs and an Xray later, Noah has the cut glued back together with liquid stitches and we are sent merrily on our way. Noah is fine, no worse for the wear. Aidan is now being "very careful  mommy" when he plays with Noah.

The doctor told us on the way out, "I am sure we will see you again soon."

Life with kids, I tell ya.

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Sometimes, after a day like today, I wish that I could just run away to a secluded island with a good book and my iPod. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I just want a break. Even if it is just a brief one.

Today was a day that taught me many things:

1.) Everything you say can be taken out of context. So you're better off saying nothing.
2.) At the sight of clean laundry, Morgan will want to change her clothes. 100 times.
3.)People are going to spew awful things about you in a passive agressive way, but it's okay, because if it was true...they would say it outright
4.)Aidan will feed his brother his green beans when my back is turned and then proclaim "all done" so he can have a dessert.
5.)Trust is a very fickle thing.
6.)I am stronger then I give myself credit for.
7.)I hate missing the gym.
8.) I love my life, no matter how chaotic, stressful, or whatever, it may be. I am doing something that I love to do with my life. Living each day to the fullest. Contrary to what some may think, I am not jealous of anyone. My life is full of people that love me for who I am. I am happy. Geuninely, 100% happy with my life. With my choices. I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what I accomplish in my life each day.

"It's not about having what you want. It's about wanting what you have"

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It's Been One Of Those Mornings...

I overslept this morning, which meant I couldn't go to the gym before Steve left for work. After taking two days off from the gym (but logging 10 miles worth of walking and running) I was itching to go back. My body dictated otherwise.

I am tired this morning. So tired, that I dug out the coffee in the hopes of getting a little *kick*. I don't normally drink coffee. I gave it up. My  morning tea usually does the trick, not this morning though.

I have a lot on my plate, and even more on my mind. Steve can only listen to me vent for so long. He means well. But, he doesn't always get why I am stressed. Or sad. Or just frustrated in general.

Today I am just feeling blah. I hate feeling this way. Especially when there is so much that I need to be doing right now.

I am hoping that "one of those mornings" doesn't turn into "one of those days"

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Reminders and Recharging

There is a new country song out by John Michael Montgomery called "Breath You Take" I love that song. It is a reminder to slow down and enjoy life. Because, you might just miss it if you don't.

Life has been pretty nuts here. Between books that need writing, outlines that need outlining, buisness projects, an upcoming trip to Chicago (my first EVER invite for a blogging event) the kids, finances, and just life... sometimes I forget to breathe. Sometimes I forget that at the end of the day...none of that matters if I miss what really matters.

That point was driven home this afternoon. The kids were being especially rowdy and I was feeling extra stressed out. So, we got our shoes on and trekked to our local park. (The big park is now in walking distance). Within moments of leaving the house, the kids found a massive amount of leaves on the sidewalk and were playing in them, laughing hysterically. I laughed with them. The stress started melting away. We crossed the bridge over the river, Aidan and Morgan pretending to be pirates. They marvaled at the planes in the skies. Stopped when they heard trains in distance. Once we got to the park, they were off. Leaving me to chase Noah up and down the hills.

I watched them play. I felt renewed. Morgan was no longer this timid little girl. She was running full tilt across the playground, laughing the entire time. Aidan had morphed into this kind and thoughtful big brother, who always made sure Morgan was never left behind. For two hours they played and laughed. The smiles never left their faces. Noah was pretty happy as well.

On the way back home, Morgan walked with her arm around Aidan. They both were still grinning. Truth be told, so was I.

I need this afternoon. A moment to just appreciate the life that I have.  A moment to really appreciate the things that truly matter. For those two hours, I didn't think about work, or finances, or my upcoming business trip to Chicago.

It really is about the moments that take your breath away...

I was glad to have that moment.

(as soon as I find my card reader pictures are coming!)

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fall is in the air

Today was finally a "feels like fall" day. The last couple of days it has been hot. Figures it would get hot after the summer clothes had been relegated to depths of the closets.

Life here is settling into somewhat of a normal feel. After a summer that was filled with stress, hard choices, and many, many tears, I am glad that life here is starting to feel normal.*

(*Not that this is a normal that I ever want to get used to, but it is a normal that is okay for now)

Noah went from an unsure and unsteady walker to a running at full speed toddler in the two weeks that we have lived in our new home. It is fun, yet exhausting at the same time. He never slows down. Ever. Luckily, Aidan and Morgan love playing with him, so the three of them enjoy seeing what kind of trouble they can get into.

Speaking of trouble, last week Morgan and Aidan found a way to escape from a fenced in back yard with locked gates. The following day, they pushed out their screen in their room and climbed out the window. I would say that those two are going to give me a run for my money when they are older...but that is already happening. (Before you flame me...we just moved in here and didn't realize that the one window was missing a has since been replaced.) They keep life interesting.

I am doing fantasic! When is the last time I could say that? It has been a while, that is for sure. I just starting going to the gym and am finally seeing success in my weightloss journey (you can read about that journey here) I have a mountain of projects to work on. Three books in various stages, and my business that needs running. Life is definately chaotic.

I have pictures to share, as soon as I find my card reader. Ah, the joys of trying to get settled into the new house!

This weekend we are *hopefully* heading to a local apple orchard with all four kiddos. We also need to decide what everyone wants to be for halloween. Aidan has changed his name no fewer then 6 times..and that was just today ;)

Have a wonderful night :)

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Monday, October 11, 2010

Halloween Movies For Families

I have a love affair with anything scary. One of my earliest memories with my dad was watching the Steven King movie IT when it was on NBC as a 3 night mini series-much to my mom's dismay. Of course, when the little ones are running underfoot, I have to choose a Halloween movie that is a little more tame.

Of course, one of the must see movies in our house during the month of October is It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. I adore Charlie Brown and the gang and make it a point to watch every Charlie Brown special each year. It was something that we did together as a family when I was younger, and I like being able to pass that on to my kids.

Another classic Halloween movie that I watched when I was younger was Double, Double Toil and Trouble with the Olsen Twins. I was a huge Full House fan so I was naturally drawn to them in that movie. Morgan watched it last year and loved it.

Of course there are all the cartoon Halloween shows and movies that are a staple in our house this time of year, Scooby-Doo, Spongebob, Dora, Diego, you name it, we have probably watched it.

So, what are your favorite movies to watch as a family for Halloween?

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Sunday, October 10, 2010

I was THAT kid

I was that kid.

You know, the one that was teased for being a little on the "chunky".

Yeah, I was that kid.

The one who was teased because I dressed a certain way. The one who was teased because my hair was cut differently. The one who was teased because of my last name.

I was that kid.

In high school, kids wrote on my locker with permanent markers. No one would talk to me. Or acknowledged me. Except if it was to tease me.

I learned at an early age what it felt like to be hated. To feel totally unwanted. Unimportant. I learned how cruel people really are.

They say high school is supposed to be the best years of your life....

They were wrong.

I was that kid.

The kid that questioned if my life was really worth living. The kid that that wondered if people would miss me if I was gone. That is a horrible feeling.

I was a kid that was bullied. That grew up to be an adult that was bullied. Instead of surrounding myself with people who loved me. I chose the guys who would rather use me as a punching bag, physically and emotionally. I was bullied. That defined who I was.

I was that kid who turned into that adult.

Bullying is an epidemic. An epidemic that kills. Can you imagine being bullied to the point where you want to take your own life?

It doesn't have to be that way. If you are being bullied, know that there is help.  There are people who geuninely care about you as a person.

It shouldn't matter how much money you have, what kind of clothes you wear, or how much you weigh. You are beautiful. Just the way you are.

I was that kid. I am now that adult. The one who wants people being bullied to know that they aren't alone. I want them to know that they are beautiful people who have a lot to offer the world.

Hold your head high. Believe in yourself. And most of all remember....

You are not alone

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Friday, October 8, 2010

Today, My Kids Ran Away

I considered not posting this, you know in case it jepordizes my parent of the year award ;) But, I am not winning any here goes...

Aidan and Morgan are 4 and 3 respectively. One of the reasons we chose this house was for the fenced in back yard. I wanted the kids to be able to play outside without me hovering over them. It also allowed for Noah to be able to play freely as well.

I will admit, I leave them outside for short periods of time. I can hear them through the window and check on them often. And it usually isn't for more then a few minutes at the time (See, told ya I wasn't winning any awards) But, I bought locks for the they can't get out.

Well today I learned that even if the gates are locked, the kids can still run away.

I went outside to grab Noah to check his diaper and brought him inside. I then decided it was time to get ready for dinner so, went back to get Aidan and Morgan. They weren't there.

After yelling for them that "this isn't funny" I realized that their bikes were pushed against the back fence.

Yeah, you guessed it, my resourceful preschoolers figured if they couldn't go through the gate, they would go over it.

I called my husband. I walked the block yellling for them. I was that parent for a few minutes...I stopped a kid on a skateboard who hadn't seen them, but would bring them back if he did. I met an old lady who had just seen them, if they came back they would bring them home. We found them a short time later. In the neighbors yard. Playing on their slide.

The neighbor is nice. He said the kids could play over there whenever they wanted. I learned that we live in a truly family friendly neighborhood, where people will help you. No one thought I was a bad parent. They understood. Because they had, or have, kids that age.

It was a moment I never want to relive. For 15 minutes I didn't know where my kids were.

Oh, and for the record..they are grounded...

Until they are 21

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Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm Going To Be Famous Baby!


Okay, okay, maybe not famous, but I do have big visions for this blog, especially since joining Brandy's Blogging Support Group.

I will admit, when I first starting blogging, I was expecting big things. Huge, I tell ya. But, it didn't happen. I do have a lot of fabulous blogging opportunites that have been presented to me and I am grateful to be working with the people and companies I do work with. But, I want to do more with my blog.

The problem is, figuring it out on your own can be a daunting and overwhelming task. So, when Brandy offered her blogging support group, I was on board.( I definately could use some direction with this blog)

If you are a blogger who needs some extra support from a great group of ladies, or are a new blogger trying to navigate uncharted waters, I highly suggest checking this group out!

Happy Blogging

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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Life and Stuff

Ahhh! Life has been moving at such a crazy pace that I wonder how I have any time to breathe.

We moved this past week. We spent all day Tuesday loading, unloading, and then reloading and unloading, the Uhaul truck. It was an exhausting day, one that left the kids in meltdown mode for 24 hours after the fact.

Life is slowly getting back to normal now. I had to cut back on work the past few weeks to deal with other things in life that were demanding my immediate attention. And now that those things have been dealt with, I am looking forward to jumping feet first back into work. I have spent a lot of time writing lately, on both of my blogs as well as my new fiction book. I am hoping to get a start on my non-fiction book soon as well.

The kids are doing well. Damien is still living with his dad for now and is doing good in school. It has definately been hard having him away. I wish things could be different. We all miss him. But, hopefully, it won't be this way for long.

Morgan got her ears pierced a couple weeks ago. She took it like a tropper and only cried at the end when both ears were pierced. She shows anyone who will pay attention to her, her earrings.

Aidan is turning into a tiny version of Damien. I see so much of Damien in Aidan. It is hard to believe that in August 2011, Aidan will be going into kindergarten. It goes by so fast.

Noah is a lean mean walking machine. When we moved, we ditched the playpen. He was constantly climbing out of it. We have to move him to a toddler bed soon, as it won't be long before he is trying to climb out of his crib.

As for me, well I am doing the best that I can. The stress of life gets to me sometimes. I do my best to keep my head held high because, as long as I am happy with the way that I am living life, then no one else should matter. Although, it appears that there is no shortage of people who wish to bring me down. Whatever.

Have a wonderful weekend.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

When what is best, isn't what you want

I have been fairly quiet on my blogs about what is going on in my family. I still don't want to go into too much detail, because, until all is said and done, this could go either way.

Tomorrow, all of this stuff should be done. Well for now. We are hoping for the best possible outcome. (which would be in our favor), but know that if it doesn't go our way, then nothing changes. Things can't get any worse then they are right now. I take comfort in that.

If things don't go the way we are hoping, then this is the end of the battle. For now. I need to do what is best for my entire family. I know that some people may not understand my reasonings. But, I have to do what is best. And sometimes, what is best, is not what I want. At all.

But, it has to be done.

But none of that is going to matter tomorrow. I am pulling all other options off of the table. I am going into tomorrow confident, with my head held high. When all is said and done, I will be a stronger person because of this.

All I can ask tonight is for prayers for myself and my family right now. God has a plan for us. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am not supposed to know. But there is a plan.

And maybe, someday, I can write about this event. Look back on it and say "Yea, I faced the devil...and I won."

Love and Peace
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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Ear piercing and pasive aggressive behavior

Oh, my has it really been 10 days since I've posted on this blog?  I have sat down a few times to blog, and one of the kids suddenly needed something. Right. This. Minute. Oh, and we are moving. Again. But, it is for the better. Things with our landlord have not been, shall we say pleasant, for some time. But all our i's are dotted, t's crossed, and we are on our way out within the next few days.

Today we took Morgan to get her ears pierced. She is three and this is something that we have talked about. A lot. I, of course, wimped out and made Steve hold her on his lap. She was such a pro! She only wimpered after the 2nd piercing and is now the proud owner of pierced ears. She's already picked out her next set of earrings. Dora The Explorer.

On another note, I have had it up to my *pierced* ears with people and passive agressive behavior. I am the type of person, if I got something to say, I am going to say it. Not beat around the bush or post cryptic messages on social media networks.

I wish people would treat me with the same respect. If you are mad at me, tell me. If you have something to say, please say it to me. It is just all that much better then guessing what people really mean when they post "why do I even bother" for a status on Facebook.

On a third note, I am so excited to be part of Kraft's Deliscous Bytes Blogging Program.  They sent me this awesome gift bag filled with goodies. I look forward to sharing the reviews and other stuff with you over the coming weeks :)

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