Thursday, December 2, 2010

I miss my best friend

(This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.Link up here )

Every single one of Mama Kat's prompts called my name this week, but this one spoke the loudest: Have you ever had a fight with a long time best friend and never made up? Do you think about her from time to time and think about contacting her? What would you say? What if it didn’t work out? What if it did?"

When I first met E, I was instantly drawn to her. She is so vibrant, so full of life. She was always the first one to remind me that I had worth and was important. Frustrated with things on the career end of my life, I contacted her. As a fellow (and sucessful) writer, I had hoped she would have some words of guidence. What followed was a friendship that I thought was unbreakable.

We talked daily. For hours. We emailed. We texted. We worked together. We would laugh and cry together. When things went down with my ex regarding custody of my son, she cried right along with me. She also held me up when I didn't think I could take another step. We were there for eachother.

Our friendship dissolved amidst trying times for both of us. I was fighting to keep my son, she was fighting to keep her grandma alive. Our friendship ended because a text was sent at the wrong time.

I have thought, numerous times, about contacting her. There are so many things that I want to say to her. I want to tell her that I miss her. That she was such a huge part of my life and I wish what had happened between us, never happened. But, I don't think I could ever go back to the way things were with us. While I accepted the end of our friendship and apologized for my part in the end of it, she called me nasty and hurtful names. She ripped me apart. It is a wound that still stings today.

I miss E very much. She was such a strong and motivational person. She is who encouraged me to be what and who I am today...and for that I thank her.

As the saying goes "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." When I think of my time with E, I always smile....

As E always said "From rain comes flowers...everytime" I hope she is enjoying her flowers.

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1 comment:

  1. I have a friend like that but it was a long time ago from when we were just kids. I often think of my friend too and wonder how different our lives would have been if we had ever made up and become close again. But you're friend is right, flowers always come after the rain and I'm am so happy with where my life is now. Perhaps you will reconnect with her one day in the future.


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