Thursday, September 23, 2010

When what is best, isn't what you want

I have been fairly quiet on my blogs about what is going on in my family. I still don't want to go into too much detail, because, until all is said and done, this could go either way.

Tomorrow, all of this stuff should be done. Well for now. We are hoping for the best possible outcome. (which would be in our favor), but know that if it doesn't go our way, then nothing changes. Things can't get any worse then they are right now. I take comfort in that.

If things don't go the way we are hoping, then this is the end of the battle. For now. I need to do what is best for my entire family. I know that some people may not understand my reasonings. But, I have to do what is best. And sometimes, what is best, is not what I want. At all.

But, it has to be done.

But none of that is going to matter tomorrow. I am pulling all other options off of the table. I am going into tomorrow confident, with my head held high. When all is said and done, I will be a stronger person because of this.

All I can ask tonight is for prayers for myself and my family right now. God has a plan for us. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am not supposed to know. But there is a plan.

And maybe, someday, I can write about this event. Look back on it and say "Yea, I faced the devil...and I won."

Love and Peace
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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Ear piercing and pasive aggressive behavior

Oh, my has it really been 10 days since I've posted on this blog?  I have sat down a few times to blog, and one of the kids suddenly needed something. Right. This. Minute. Oh, and we are moving. Again. But, it is for the better. Things with our landlord have not been, shall we say pleasant, for some time. But all our i's are dotted, t's crossed, and we are on our way out within the next few days.

Today we took Morgan to get her ears pierced. She is three and this is something that we have talked about. A lot. I, of course, wimped out and made Steve hold her on his lap. She was such a pro! She only wimpered after the 2nd piercing and is now the proud owner of pierced ears. She's already picked out her next set of earrings. Dora The Explorer.

On another note, I have had it up to my *pierced* ears with people and passive agressive behavior. I am the type of person, if I got something to say, I am going to say it. Not beat around the bush or post cryptic messages on social media networks.

I wish people would treat me with the same respect. If you are mad at me, tell me. If you have something to say, please say it to me. It is just all that much better then guessing what people really mean when they post "why do I even bother" for a status on Facebook.

On a third note, I am so excited to be part of Kraft's Deliscous Bytes Blogging Program.  They sent me this awesome gift bag filled with goodies. I look forward to sharing the reviews and other stuff with you over the coming weeks :)

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

A letter to my husband

I don't do it often enough, so here is a post, dedicated to my husband. Enjoy!

We are coming up on five years since we met face to face. I still remember that night like it was yesterday. We had plans to meet on a Sunday, but work dictated otherwise, so you called me and said you could meet me in 45 minutes for dinner. (I had just walked in the door with Chinese Food). I got to the resturant before you did. As I sat in my car, I considered going home. I didn't think i was ready to date just yet.

You pulled up in your red pick up truck, looking just as nervous as I was. Dinner was over all to fast, and we did what most people do in a tiny town, went over to Wal-mart to walk around. It was more for the conversation than anything. We were walking through the store when our hands brushed. I felt a rush. I secretly was hoping that you would hold my hand. I was not dissapointed when you finally did.

We went back to your truck and you took me back to my car. I didn't want to leave, but I had to. Our first kiss was that night. I fell in love you instantly.

So the story goes, we fell in love. Damien just adored you. Life was good. Then we found out I was pregnant with Aidan.

Well, you know how the story goes. First came Aidan, then came Morgan, and shortly after came Noah.
Our marriage bore the brunt of the storm that ensued. There were nights we both yelled that we hated eachother. Many nights I said I was done. But you never gave up, you never let go of what we had.

I love you for that. I love you for letting me be a bitch when I had to be, and for letting me fall apart when I couldn't be strong anymore.

You supported my dreams 110% . You worked hard to provide a life for me and all the kids.

I love you because of who you are. I love your honesty and dependability. I love you because you are an amazing father. And an amazing husband.

My life would be so much different if I hadn't gone to meet you that night.I never did get around to eating my chinese food.

But I would gladly trade my peanut chicken for a chance to fall in love with you.

Each day I fall more in love with you. You are my rock. My best friend.

Thank you for who you are.

Thank you for loving me.

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A little bit of randomness...

When I had orginally started this post, it was going to go a whole different direction. I was going to use it proclaim to the world that I don't care if you don't like me. Then I realized that if I did that, then it would seem like I cared, which I don't. Suffice to say, my life is much better now that I have removed some toxic people from my life :-)

So, instead of dwelling on the *ahem* drama, I thought I would use this moment to fill you in on life in the Austin family.

*As stated above, I am turning 30 on Saturday. In lieu of gifts please send cash ;) (totally kidding...well maybe) I am hoping the old saying "it gets better with age" really is true, because frankly, I doubt it can get worse.

*I have started working on preschool and kindergarten things here at home with Aidan and Morgan. It is hard to believe that Aidan will be going to kindergarten next fall.

* Damien is doing well in school I am told. I am totally excited to be spending the weekend with him. Hopefully, within the next week, he will be back where he wants to be.

*I am in the process of getting my brand spanking new business up and running. You can visit that blog here

*We are heading to look at a house on Saturday. Yes, we are thinking about moving again. Yes it is a long story and no I am not going to blog about it. :-)

I have learned that life is what you make it. I cannot control how others are going to treat me. But I can control how I react to it. At the end of the day, what really matters is what I have right here. A husband who works extremely hard for me and the kids, and four wonderful children who make the world a better, albeit somewhat chaotic , place.
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