True Confessions Of A Stay At Home Mom

A friend asked me the other day, "How do you do it?" I was puzzled. "Do what?" "This" she said. I get confused really easy, so I asked her to explain, exactly what this she was talking about.

" I only have one to take care of, how do you keep it together with four?" OH! She was talking about my four kids. Once the irony of her question hit me, I began laughing, hysterically. I am sure, had she not been on the other side of the computer screen (this conversation was via facebook...I do NOT have an imaginary friend and yes thats my story and Im sticking to it) she would have regretted asking me how I kept it together.

I did have a "proud" moment, because if my virtual friend thought I was keeping it together, then I had to be doing something right.

But, I had to be honest with her. I was not keeping it together all that well...

1.)There have been days, sometimes several in one week, where my toddlers have run around 'sans clothes because I didn't feel like wrestling the clothes back on them...only to have them off in a matter of minutes

2.)Some nights my husband has had to make dinner for himself because I fed the kids frozen waffles and sent them to bed...at 6pm

3.)More often the not, I have had to re-run the washing machine because I forgot to take the wet clothes out...for days

4.)I cry when I have to go downstairs and clean poop up off the floor and the toy box and the window and a toddler...for the 4th time in a week

5.)I lock myself in the bedroom...several times a day

6.)I use the T.V as a babysitter

7.) I use my seven yr old as a babysitter

8.)In a rush, I have forgotten to put the baby in the car...more then once

9.)I bribe my kids with candy...all the time

10.)My house is never clean...ever

11.)I have gone a week without getting dressed out of what I wore to bed the night before (yes, I change after I take a shower)

12.)I ignore the fact that my boys are jumping off the couch...simply because it makes them happy

See, I don't have it all together or even half together. Sometimes I wonder if I know what I am doing..at all.

Many nights, I collapse in bed, tears in my eyes because I need a break DAMNIT!!

But I didn't tell my friend that...why would I give away all my secrets...

Instead I told her this...

You are keeping it together if, at the end of the day, everyone is still alive and you didn't have to make an impromptu trip to the ER....

Again.