Writer's Workshop: What Does Marriage Mean To You?

When I was growing up, I had this idea of how marriage would be. I mean don't we all. Especially little girls, we spend a huge percentage of our childhood days planning out how our wedding will be, rehearsing with Barbie And Ken (and the occasional cat and dog...not that I did that...I'm just sayin...)

Then we grow up. And hit that wall.

First, we have to find the man that we want to marry. That takes some a lifetime in and of itself.

I,myself, was engaged 3 times...once for real, meaning we actually set the date, I picked out my colors and all that jazz, only to have it implode on me. Once was just a silly highschool "we will be together forever" thing. I think that ended a few weeks after graduation. And once was a "I am going to make my ex-wife jealous" engagement. Can ya figure out how that one ended?

Then I met my now husband. We got married. And then I really learned what marriage means.

*It means forgetting the "never go to bed angry" rule. Some nights you have to go to bed angry so you can wake up and realize how stupid you were

*It means loving another when it seems impossible to continue to do.

*It means fighting for what you really want, and not walking away because it is easiest.

*It means letting go of how you think things should be and instead focus on how things are.

*It means working together towards a common goal.

*It means compromise

*It means never forgetting to say "I love you"

*It means that sometimes you have to admit that you are not always right (even though I am)

*It means sharing

*It means arguing like adults and not like children in the school yard.

*It means having someone to share your life with.

When I got married to my husband, I had this idea in my head of how I wanted my marriage to be. I thought that it would be all smiles and loving kisses. And it was...but not all the time.

We had to compromise,alot, on things in our lives.

As my husband and I went through our lives we lost alot: Our home, our car, our credit. I lost jobs. He lost time with his family as he struggled to keep us afloat.

But we also gained alot: Our 3 children, a new outloook on life, ourselves.

So ultimately Marriage redefines itself everyday. It is how we react to those redefinitions that help us learn what marriage means.

To me: My marriage means simply this: Love, Strength, Honor, Loyalty and Respect.