My marriage bore the brunt of the damage too. Because I was unhappy here, because Steve was upset we had lost our home. We argued all the time. Contemplated divorce a time or two. But we weathered the storms together.
In all honesty, I did not expect to get this house. I mean we have been looking for two years. Only to be told No at every turn...I guess that is what happens when you loose a home in foreclosure.
We have been searching for two years. Trying to prove that we were not that stupid couple who made a huge mistake. Trying to prove that we were better then we were. But there is was...that foreclosure. It was the elephant in the room. And it sucked.
With four kids, a townhome is no place to live. We have no room, no yard and the back of our house backs up to a set of really busy train tracks. We wanted more.
People would tell me, every time we would hear a "no" when it came to moving, that we weren't meant to have that particular house. I didn't believe them. I just decided that God hated us. We were being punished for being financially irresponsible. That we learned our lesson didn't seem to matter.
Then our lease here was coming to an end, and again we were faced with the "what do we do now?" So, we started looking.
We finally found a few houses that were with our price range, and one that was way out of it. But for some reason or another, they wouldn't work for our situation. It was frustrating. Then we found the house. We emailed the realtor and waited (impatiently) for a reply.
We got to see the house on Thursday. I fell in love immediately with it. This is the house we were supposed to have. I anxiously filled out the application and taking one last look over my shoulder, walked away hoping this would be our new home.
I was impatient at first. Frustrated. Nervous. Anxious. Then it hit me...God is in control of this situation. I have done all I can and now it is time to sit back and let Him do his job.
And he did.
Today we recieved word that we got the house. Tears fell down my face as I finally envisoned my family living in a home that was not infested with mold or one where negligent college kids left open containers of beer where my kids could get them. One where I could let them play outside and not worry about trains. One where they could have the room the needed and deserved to run and play and be kids.
This is our second chance. A chance to start over. It is a new begining for our family.