Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Adopting Positive Thinking...

I have been sitting here most the day just thinking. Well not just sitting, I mean I am moving in 2 weeks and I have a ton to do. But still, while sorting and packing, my mind was off doing its own thing.

A couple years back, my husband and I decided that I would stay home and he would work. The cost of daycare was outrageous and we both knew that he was the one who was making more money, so it was logical that he work.

But just because it was logical, doesn't mean that I accepted it. I am a social person by nature. I like being around people. It makes me feel...human I guess. All of a sudden I found myself shut off from the outside world and I didn't like it one bit.

The time came when we decided, that although I still needed to stay home with the kids, I needed to find a way to work at home. It was a good solution for me, at that time. It gave me something to focus on other then laundry and dinner.

I found it hard, to say the least, to find a job that I could do from home that didn't want an extreme amount of money up front or that wasn't a scam. I began to feel hopeless about the situation.

Late last year, after Noah was born, I decided that by thinking negatively, I was dooming myself to failure. I couldn't sit here and say "It's not fair" "Why doesn't it work for me?" It was time to turn those "I can't"s to "I can"s

So, I took a step back, thought about things that were really important to me when it came to working from home and things that I could let slide. I knew that I wanted to do something that I liked doing.

So, I starting writing.

Soon, I sold my first article, then my next. I started to gain the confidence to bid on larger jobs. To write more "out there" articles. I started to find my voice.

Then today came. I had an opportunity to apply for a featured writer on a site that I have been with for a while. I don't know if I will get it. I almost didn't apply. But why not me? I have a lot to offer, I have a background in the topic they were seeking. So why didn't I stand a chance? Because I said so?

I told myself that I deserved a chance at this position. So I applied.

It felt good to know that I am worth it. That I do deserve a chance. That I am good enough.

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