Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It's not easy.

I have tried to maintain a somewhat positive attitude. Because, let's face it, negativity only breeds negativity, and the more I thought negative thoughts, the more negative things seemed to appear.

I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. I get mad over the dumbest things, I let things negatively affect me when I should just turn the other cheek, I loose my patients, and find myself snapping at my husband or the kids. And I always feel worse after. But I am trying.

Because of this, my emotional well-being has suffered as well. I have spent days feeling hopeless and not in control of things. I have been neglecting the things that once made me happy, blogging, writing, photography. Everything just seemed so hopeless. But I am trying.

I took a look at things. Took stock, if you will, and realized that there is no tangiable reason for me to feel the way that I feel. This is all my doing. My fault.

A friend once told me "Joy is your birthright." and until now, I never gave it much thought. Sure, joy is my birthright, but it doesn't mean I am actually going to get it, right? Wrong.

By choosing not to be happy, whether I realized it or not, I was never going to be happy.

So today, I am making an honest effort. No more excuses. No more "why me?" I am going to choose to be happy.

And I am not just going to say it...I am going to own it.

I. Will.Be.Happy

No excuses

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