Thursday, March 18, 2010

Writer's Workshop:How is My Relationship Different From My Parents

Growing up my parents fought...alot. In fact, I thought it was normal for parents to behave the way that mine did. I really didn't think much about it as a child. I was loved. We made family time on the weekends. On the outside we appeared to be a normal family living in suburbia. My mom stayed home, my dad worked.

My parents relationship--I soon learned---was anything but normal. It was a constant circle of arguments and door slams. Tears and yelling. My brother and I turned to each other, and until recently, had a very close relationship.

When I met my husband and we made the choice to get married, I was scared. I was afraid that history would repeat itself. The only people in my family who stayed married to the same people their entire lives where my grandparents, and my aunt and uncle. Thats it. Out of all the people in my family--immediate and extended--to ever get married only 2 sets actually stayed married. I didn't want my marriage to be another causualty. I didn't want to loose my family.

My marriage is different from my parents in many aspects. My husband and I have had our fair share of arguments and threats of seperation. We have gone without speaking to eachother for days. But, we have learned that we need eachother. Contrary to my parents, who exsisted in a constant cloud of anger, my husband and I have learned to let go of our anger at eachother. We have learned to talk.

My marriage is different from my parents in that my husband and I have learned how to respect one another. I think respect was missing in my parents marriage.

My mom left us when I was 15. I remember the pain that I felt for a long time after that. I had a hard time trusting anyone. I was always afraid of being alone. I vowed, when I met my husband and we had our family, that I would never put my family through the pain that I went through. I would never wanted my kids to grow up and remember mommy and daddy fighting 24-7. I wanted them to remember good times.

My marriage is strong. Something my parents never was.

*This was an assignment from Mama Kat. Click here to see who else took part*

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  1. wow, this was painful to read because we've had similar situations (except that my mom didnt leave. she thinks she'd burn in hell if she did). i remember the yelling and screaming and the door-slamming. it wasnt all bad, no. but these memories can never be erased. you have a made a wise decision not to have that kind of marriage.

    visiting from mama kat's, although i couldnt write about this. it's just too painful, i guess.

  2. What a heartbreaking, yet inspiring post. I think it's wonderful that you took what you saw in your parent's marriage and turned it around in yours. It sounds like you have a couple of very lucky kids!
    I'd love for you to stop by and take a look at my submission to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. It's all about reliving my senior prom in 1992 and my very first kiss. If you don't laugh at the article itself, you'll laugh at the hideous photo I posted. Have a great day!

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud


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