Monday, March 15, 2010

I'm Bothered...

I like to think that I am a pretty nice person. I mean, I go out of my way to help others however I can, I am a great listener, and I refrain from judgement when others may have already judged. I want to be everybody's friend...and I think that is going to be my undoing.

I need to learn to not care so much. I do what I do because, well, because that is who I am. It is what makes me, me. and it is why my husband loves me. Because I have a big heart.

I do the things that I do for others, not for gratitude, but because I want to. I don't expect anything in return...except for maybe a simple "Thanks". But isn't that the glue that holds the fabric of our society together. You don't have thank me...but it would be nice, It would make me feel..less used.

And that is how I am feeling tonight. I have spent several weeks--months even--helping someone out. Being what i though was a good friend, listening, and offering advice when appropiate or when solicited. I thought that I had made a friend in the deal...turns out--I was just being used. This person has thanked everyone under the sun--but me. Its like I don't even exist to them. And it hurts. I know that it shouldn't. But I feel used. And at first I thought I was being silly. But the writing is on the wall...I am being talked about behind my back, put down, and insulted. After everything...

And the kicker is..i still would be this persons friend tomorrow if they asked. Because that is how I am. I don't like to have to cut anyone out of my life. But it appears that it may be time to do just that.

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1 comment:

  1. that really sucks! I get that though, that's why I don't have too many friends anymore. I feel for you girl!


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