Sunday, May 16, 2010

It's unbelievable...

Tomorrow, if all goes as planned, my little brother will welcome his first child into this world. My sister in law is ready to give birth and is supposed to be getting induced at some point tomorrow since the baby is being stubborn.

I think back to where I was a year ago at this time. I was, more than likely, sitting in the doctors office, hooked up to the NST machine as I was at every visit. I was probably getting ready to be sent down for an Ultrasound or maybe bloodwork. My doctor was wonderful. I credit him and his staff with Noah being here today.

It is hard to believe that in just a little over a month, Noah will be one. My little 5 pound baby boy is now a mobile, talking and cracker eating toddler. I look at him, and I remember so clearly the fear that I felt when I heard the words "he isn't growing". I remember the panic in the doctor's voice as he ordered me to the hospital...NOW. I remember his first cries. How it felt to hold him.

As my brother prepares to be a dad for the first time, I am slowly preparing to leave behind the baby years...for good. There will be no more OB appointments, no more midnight runs to Wal-mart for diapers or formula. No more rocking a fussy baby for hours on end. There will no longer be a tiny little baby in this house.

For the past three years, I have had three babies back to back. There was always a baby to be tended to...and now? Well I have four independant children now. Damien will be 8 this month, Aidan will be 4 in July, Morgan 3 in August, and Noah 1 in June.

Am I going to miss that time? The time when all Noah wanted was to be held as I fed him instead of now crawling off on his next big adventure? Of course. It was during this time, with all my children, that I learned what it meant to be strong. I learned how a simple gesture as a smile from a baby can reduce an adult to tears. It was during this time that I was tested.

So, as my brother braces for sleepless nights and endless diapers, I will kiss Noah good night and hug him extra tight. I will tell my children that I love them. I will tell them thank you for making me a better me.

I will usher out the baby years for good, never forgetting the memories, as we eagerly move forward in to more wonderful memories.

Congrats Matt and Tiffany! Having a baby is the biggest blessing of all....

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