Celebrating Mother's Day...

As I sit here and think back to my childhood, not to many happy memories stand out. My parents had a volitile marriage that affected my brother and I both. I remember more tears then smiles, more yelling then laughter.

But the one thing that sticks out the most is my mom.

My mom married young, at 18, had me at 20, my brother at 22. She stayed home all but 4 of the 17 years her and my dad were married. I remember my mom going without on many occasions so that my brother and I could have what we wanted and needed. I remember her sitting silently and suffering internally, but projecting happiness externally so that my brother and I would not be affected by the turmoil that was within the walls of our house.

As I grew up, I vowed that I would NOT be the woman my mom was. I was not going to sacarafice myself or my happiness for anyone. Why should I go without so others could have what they wanted? Yea, I was a bit of a selfish teenager.

Then, at 21 I found out I was pregnant with my first son. I still vowed that I would not be like my mom. I didnt want to loose my identity to having children...no way...

Fast forward 7 years later. I am married, I have 3 children with another on the way. I am a SAHM, I gave up a career, an education to be with my children. I haven't gotten a new pair of tennis shoes in almost a year. I go without on a daily basis, and yes there are times that I keep my tears to myself so my kids are not affected...

I have become my mom in every aspect. And you know what....I would not want it anyother way...

So this year,I am not only celebrating being a mom myself, but I am celebrating my mother, the woman she was and still is, the woman she ultimately inspired me to be. My mom is my hero...and if I can be even 1/2 the mom she was and is to me, then I would be happy

I love you mom!!!