Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Learning NOT to react....

For the longest time now, I have been one to react. And not always in a positive way. I am the type of person that tends to just...explode...I can't tell you how many times I have called my husband at work, yelling, and there is nothing he can do at that moment. He is working. He can't make the calls that need to be made. And while it would be nice to have the help...his work schedule just doesn't allow it.

No amount of explaining on his part would make me understand. I just wanted whatever the problem was fixed...now.

I am learning.

These past few weeks, I have been forced to take a really hard look at myself, my life, my marriage and just...everything. I had to decide if I was going to accept things the way they are or make the changes that needed to be made within myself.

I cannot control others. But I can control my actions. My thoughts. My happiness.

That meant learning to accept things. Certain things that bug the hell out of me. I can't control them, therefore I am letting go and just accepting.

The stress I felt...is slowly fading away

It is not to say it is easy. Because it's not. Old habits do die hard. And letting go and accepting things hasn't been easy.

Problems are going to arise. It is a given. Life isn't easy. But I can make it easier.

I am learning.

I am learning to stop and think things through for a moment. I am learning that, as much as I hate it, I have to deal with a majority of things, because my husband works. alot.

I am learning that if I take a step back, as hard as it may be, and just think, a huge problem can be dealt with.

There is a solution for everything...no matter how large.

It makes me happy to know that I am capable. For so long I lacked the confidence to deal with problems. I was afraid of confrontation. Afraid of talking to whomever it was...the bill collector, the car dealer...anyone. I would rather hide and then yell at my husband for not taking care of it.

Truth is, I can do it.

I am learning....

And it feels...GOOD

1 comment:

  1. I really want to thank you for your candor. It has helped me gain some perspective on the feelings I have had for quite awhile. Now, I don't call hubby at work and blow up or anything, but it seems that for the last while I just think I cannot take another moment of things that I have endured for many, many years. Now, it's not abuse or anything like that, just stuff that drives me nuts and makes me feel bad. Thank you for giving me new thoughts to think!

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