Adopting Positive Thinking...

I have been sitting here most the day just thinking. Well not just sitting, I mean I am moving in 2 weeks and I have a ton to do. But still, while sorting and packing, my mind was off doing its own thing.

A couple years back, my husband and I decided that I would stay home and he would work. The cost of daycare was outrageous and we both knew that he was the one who was making more money, so it was logical that he work.

But just because it was logical, doesn't mean that I accepted it. I am a social person by nature. I like being around people. It makes me feel...human I guess. All of a sudden I found myself shut off from the outside world and I didn't like it one bit.

The time came when we decided, that although I still needed to stay home with the kids, I needed to find a way to work at home. It was a good solution for me, at that time. It gave me something to focus on other then laundry and dinner.

I found it hard, to say the least, to find a job that I could do from home that didn't want an extreme amount of money up front or that wasn't a scam. I began to feel hopeless about the situation.

Late last year, after Noah was born, I decided that by thinking negatively, I was dooming myself to failure. I couldn't sit here and say "It's not fair" "Why doesn't it work for me?" It was time to turn those "I can't"s to "I can"s

So, I took a step back, thought about things that were really important to me when it came to working from home and things that I could let slide. I knew that I wanted to do something that I liked doing.

So, I starting writing.

Soon, I sold my first article, then my next. I started to gain the confidence to bid on larger jobs. To write more "out there" articles. I started to find my voice.

Then today came. I had an opportunity to apply for a featured writer on a site that I have been with for a while. I don't know if I will get it. I almost didn't apply. But why not me? I have a lot to offer, I have a background in the topic they were seeking. So why didn't I stand a chance? Because I said so?

I told myself that I deserved a chance at this position. So I applied.

It felt good to know that I am worth it. That I do deserve a chance. That I am good enough.

2010 Resolutions...

I got the idea for this post from Brandy at Happily Blended (you should stop by and say Hi!!)

In just about 29 hours (I am in CST here) 2009 will be gone. But certainly not forgotten. And we will be welcoming in a brand new year. well I might be sleeping at that point....

I always set resoultions for myself. And I always ditch them. I have never seemed to be able to find the "resolve" to stick with the resolutions I have made as the new year rolls in. I guess, for me, making resolutions is just one of those things that you feel like you have to do just, well...because.

That is not the case for 2010.

After taking stock of things that happened or did not happen in 2009, I have realized that it is time to "own" what I say. No more empty "this year I am gonna...." Nope. This time I am going to hold myself accountable.

So, just what are my resolutions for the new year?

*I want to be more organized. Seriously, having to hunt for tennis shoes 3 minutes before the bus comes for Damien...so not cutting it any more (and while I am at it...I am going to start making his lunches the night before..no more rushing)

*I want to take better care of ME. Moms as a whole, tend to put themselves on the back burner. I have always done that. Not because I had to, but because I feel that, as a wife and wahm, that I should be putting the kids and my husband first. I have totally negelcted to take care of me. So, starting in the new year, I am going to get my dental work done, get my ear fixed and find out why I am exhausted all the time, yet cannot sleep. I am also going to loose weight...and lots of it. (more on that in a later post)

*I am going to take my business to the next level. I am blessed, that after months of searching and countless tears, that I have found a great fit for me. It is enabling me to work at home and make a good chunk of change. My goal is to be able to replace my unemployment that runs out in a few months.

* I am going to make it a point to post here more. I love my blog. I love the connections I have made with my blog. I am going to be more "socially active".

One of the biggest resolutions that i have for 2010 is that I am going to work on my marriage. Over the last year, my husband and I have had some huge fights. Mostly about stupid things. Our marriage shows signs of the battles we have waged against eachother. Starting now I want to work on making things right. I love my husband. I don't want to imagine life without him.

2009 has been both good and bad. But I wouldn't change the experiences for anything.

What will your resolutions be in 2010?

I got nothing

Ok, so I have seriously been in a writing rut lately. Between blogging, Twitter, and my two way cool writing gigs. The well has run dry. I am a writer, the well can't run dry, can it?

It has gotten so bad, that I sit at the computer, staring at the blank screen for hours. Well, maybe not hours, but you catch my drift.

I got nothing.

Not for lack of things to write about. I mean with four kids, and a busy life, surely something is bound to arise that I would deem blog-worthy. Has my life really become that boring?

Before I took on the 2 additional writing gigs, I had tons to write about. Sometimes it was serious, but more often the not it was something that someone did in my family that made me roll my eyes. But atleast I had something.

Now, I got nothing.

I'm sad. Writing has always been my thing. Mainly poetry in my early years, but over the past few years, blogging and content writing has been my new thing. I like it. It is theraputic. I can get my point across so much clearer when I write. Ask my husband, I am known to email when we fight, because what I want to say comes across that much clearer.

So, I am now forced to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is I am doing. What am I doing anyways?

I want to continue to write. But I want to turn out blogs that people will actually read and not just random post that makes me look like a blitering idiot.

I love to write. I am just, shall we say, suffering from writer's constipation...ok writer's block is a more pleasing phrase.

Anyways, I sat down to write this post hoping it would knock something loose in my head and I could write something more...

But again

I got

Nothing