Letting go...sorta...

Tomorrow at 7:59am, I will be putting D on the bus for his first day in a new school. This is the first time he has ever ridden a bus to and from school. I am nervous.

D has always been my sensitive child. For as long as I can remember. He doesn't adapt well to change and is hesitant to try new things. He is shy and while friendly, doesn't make friends all to easily. Going to a new school for 2nd grade is, in and of itself, a huge deal in a 7 year old boys mind. Add to that a new school, new friends, new teacher and riding a bus and he is libel to have a meltdown that would put a nucular reactor to shame.

I was so torn on putting D on the bus, that I called my dad. I am 28 (going on 29) married with 4 kids and I still call my dad to help me with things. I asked my dad what to do. He hemmed and hawed. Gee thanks dad..this is so why I called you... and we were getting nowhere until my stepmom took over...

"Put him on the bus. If you don't he will never ride the bus"

I knew she spoke from experience as not to long ago she put her 1st grader on a bus for the first time in a new school, with new friends and new teachers. But my heart still struggled.

Am I really ready to let my "baby" go?

Granted he's going to school the next town over, but it might as well be the next state over. I am as emotional as a mom watching her baby go off to college.

For the last 2 years, I have been minutes from his school. Making myself available to drop everything and pick him up or cater to his needs at a moments notice (and that I did...many many times). I was close enough that I could walk with him to and from school in Kindergarten. I was close enough that I could be there each and everyday to drop him off and pick him up. In rain, sleet or snow...

Now, I am not so close. His new school is roughly 15 minutes away, down a back road. I was not anticipating the drive in the winter. Not to mention, because it was farther, I would have to get the 3 little ones up earlier in the morning and up earlier from nap...

Putting him on the bus was the logical choice.

But still my heart struggles.

So, I decided to get the one person's opinion who truly mattered in this deal. The one person who, come Monday morning, was going to have to actually get on the bus and ride it...D's.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked him.

He hesitated. " I never rode a bus and I don't know anyone and what if I cannot remember where my teacher is or my class is?"

I looked at him. These were genuine fears. But never once did he say " I don't want to ride the bus"

"What if we can figure out a way to make this less scary?" I asked (secretly thinking....for both of us)

He willingly obliged.

We decided he would ride in the front of the bus for comfort. I would wait both before and after school at the bus stop for him (hey maybe I will make some friends in this deal ;) ) I would write his teachers name and bus number on a slip of paper and put in his backpack. He would get to know the kids in the neighborhood.

He was still nervous though. I told him that there will be teachers everywhere tomorrow, just ask. It's ok.

He shook his head and said "ok mom" I got teary eyed.

For him, accepting that he has to ride the bus and then actually doing it, this is a huge deal. This was a huge step developmentally for him. Emotionally for me.

Now, D is going to be "forced" to grow up. Take responsibilty for his actions and himself. Mom isn't going to be there when he looks back over his shoulder before going into the school. He is going to be doing this on his own. No mommy to coax him.

I still remember back to kindergarten. Each day, I had to wait until his class had gone into the building before I could leave.

So tomorrow, he will dress in his best, grab his new John Cena backpack, get on that big yellow bus and walk into a new school...without me.

I am letting go...slowly. He can do this. I can do this. Together we make a heck of a team.

Tomorrow starts a new journey for D....

And also a new chapter in his life.

Back To School, Back To School

The flyer's in the Sunday paper. The throngs of frustrated mothers with tired kids in tow. The arguments with sibilings over which backpack is better, Hannah Montana or The Jonas Brothers.

Yep, its that time of year. A mother's who has been couped up with restless children all summer favorite time of year. The time of year retailers sing with joy because school supplies just get more expensive each year (8 bucks for 2 pkgs of dry erase markers...seriously??)

Back To School!!! Summer has come to an end, and while we will miss the lazy summer days at the beach, quiet picnics in the park, mornings of sleeping in....wait a minute, I don't know about you, but in MY house, that didn't happen.
For most of us, our summers were spent schlepping kids from one activity to the next, trying to apply sunscreen to a screaming toddler,swatting mosquitos, endless bbqing,refereeing fights between summers, keeping one eye on the calendar and silently (or not so silently) counting down the days.

"2 more weeks..then I don't have to deal with you all day" I said to my son, just this morning, eliciting a stream of tears...."I dont want to go to school...why dont you want me here anymore mommy?" Simply put dear child of mine...3 months of confiment with you and your brothers and sister has made mommy insane.

I have already finished my school shopping this year. I learned last year, after a physical confrontation over a package of markers, just how hazardous to my health waiting until the last moment can be. Already stressed out moms are pushed to the brink as they sift thru piles of folders trying to find "the one" that their child has to have. The moms find themselves in the trenches of the school supply aisle,while their husbands wait on the outside...they are smart enough to know to not get in the way of a mom who is trying to find the last neon pink crayon box...not that color pink mommy...for their daughter.

Is it just me or is the whole school supply industry out to turn us against eachother? I have seen even the nicest and quietest moms turn into medusa over a crayon box...its a 64 cent crayon box, surely there are worse things to deal with?

Ahh, its my favorite time of year, really. School supply shopping ranks right up there with black friday shopping, you dont want to do it, but you just HAVE to...who knows what kinda deals you will miss.

My advice: Shop early. Buy in bulk. Wal-mart has great prices on all of the basics that your kid will need for school. I bought notebooks for 15 cents. I think I spent less then $50.00 for all the school supplies including the John Cena backpack he just "HAD to have mom". The only thing left on my list are gym shoes. I was done shopping back at the begining of the month or the end of last month.

Waiting to the last minute to get that pack of markers you forgot earlier...

Not the best of ideas, but hey if you are looking for some amusement, be my guest...just remember I warned you about the frazzled mother with 3 kids in tow hell bent on getting those markers before you.

Happy BTS shopping